May 2010 -
The journey continues -
I have had a roller coaster the past few weeks, but am on an upswing of new inspiration. I am getting more and more aware of how "stress" effects your weight loss. I have gone through a myriad of emotions since getting laid off from my Construction job in March, but am now realizing more than ever how much the "stress" of that job and all the travel were contributing to my struggle. I still have a long ways to go, but depression and anxiety are also issues that are contributing to what I am learning is a "food addiction." I have for most of my adult life battled with my weight, but am just now realizing how much of this is related to other psychological issues in my life. The good news here...
EXERCISE!!!!
This is a natural stress relief activity, and something that I don't do regularly enough. I am looking into some calorie trackers and exercise logs to try again to make my efforts more public and hence make me more accountable. I am in counseling for the psychological issues, which I am learning more and more about everyday. The key to overcoming them is knowledge and understanding of them. If I can recognize what is triggering the behavior's in my food addiction, then I think I have a better shot at overcoming it. My wife has agreed to join Weight Watcher's with me, this will be a HUGE help as far as working on the nutritional side of things.
I am in school at SLCC and have applied for admission to the U for fall semester, these will also help me build my confidence back as well. I know that while I am pursuing my education, I can also pursue some courses on healthy habits as well. I am looking forward to the opportunity to be a full-time student, this is a reality that is becoming clearer and clearer with each week that goes by. I have sent out hundreds of resumes, and on a weekly basis get emails from companies all over the country thanking me for interest in their company and telling me they will keep my resume on file. The reality in today's job market is there are hundreds of applicants for each position, and companies are only interviewing or looking at the applicants that meet all of their specified criteria. I know that I have good experience and a lot to offer, but I don't even get a chance to sell myself, because I cannot make it past their "database purge" of applicants.
I am using the summer as a time to "organize" my life... working on goals, working on organizing my schedule, working on organizing my home (this is a tough one with two little one's "de-organizing" my efforts, working on organizing the garage, the office and the basement... there is something to be said about the age old line... "cleanliness is next to godliness"... I am somewhere down in the "telestial" level on the organization chart of godliness... and I don't think I am going to make "celestial" anytime soon... but the effort is what counts. To be completely honest... I just want to be able to find something when I go looking for it, instead of taking 10-15 minutes just pondering on where I think I might have put it or used it last... then spending another 10-15 minutes looking in that area, only to eventually give up and head off to Home Depot to buy another one! I usually find the original tool in the next few days, in a spot where I would have least expected to find it!
So this new motivation - we got new shirts at Sports Authority... one of the associates tried on my size...3XL and it drowned him... he said that thing is going to be HUGE on you. I sort of looked at him and thought... you really don't know how big I am do you? I at the time was wearing a 4XL from the Big and Tall store, and was praying that Tommy Armor made their shirts big! Lucky for me they did, the triple X fit, fairly comfortably, but the reality that I was wearing the biggest shirt they make and that it is the size of a bed sheet... kicked me into gear again. I also have three co-workers that want to do the P90X workout program with me! I am also posting some of my favorite "digger" photos from our backyard.. that show how the camera can pack pounds on you...
That is my post for May... I have a long ways to go to get back on track with my 2 pound a week goal... but I am confident after watching the Biggest Loser Finale on TV that I can do it by the end of the year... but I am going to need some "emotional help"... hope all of you that are following my public thoughts on weight loss are up for it!
The shear size of me in some of these photos is embarrassing... and I am fully clothed! I cannot believe how "thick" I am if you will... but the return of the double chin in the one photo with CJ made me cringe, since it is such a cute photo of him. I truly want to over come this weight problem, because I want to be there as a husband and father for my lovely wife and two beautiful son's... they deserve a father that does not get out of breath going up and down a long flight of stairs.
Vices this month that proved to be continuing weaknesses:
Fast Food - McDonald's, Wendy's, Taco Bell, Cafe Rio, Costa Vida, Alberto's (I have eaten at all of these places this month)
Soda - I am on average back to one 16 oz. bottle of Pepsi every shift at work... and sometimes two if it is a long shift
Late Night meals and no sleep - I come home from work and "veg-out" in front of the TV which keeps me up until Midnight or so... which only translates to more Pepsi the next day because I am tired.
Small Victories Tally -
I did workout 6 times this month at the gym! I started packing my workout clothes and going straight to the gym after a shift that ends at 10 pm.
I did drink more water - I did have some days at Sports Authority where I did not buy any Pepsi! although it was not a majority, this was a victory to drink water instead of soda
I did start working on updating and reviewing my yearly goals - this is a big one actually - I always set goals from December to January of every year, but then never review them again until the next year when I review them and realize how many of them I had not met... which usually depresses me and leads to ice cream and TV watching!
Thanks for reading my weight-loss journey, and I look forward to reporting good positive weight loss next month.
Current weight - 289 lbs.
